Are you heeding the red flags?

This morning I was marveling at all the insane synchronicities that I’ve encountered with my partner.

I mean he truly is the man of my dreams, and he feels the exact same way about me. 

There are even things about him that only my angsty 15-year-old self would have had the courage to ask for. 

I mean this man also thinks that the song Crash by Dave Matthews is the one of the sexiest songs ever written! He told me that, unsolicited! What?!!! 

But adult me knew better than to expect everything I wanted in a man, right? 

She had concluded that being realistic was the only way to find a lasting partnership. 

Be realistic. 

Be sober. 

Be restrained. 

And she was correct (in a way), but not in the ways that you would think. 

I did need to be sober and restrained…but with my own behaviors, not my standards!!! 

Instead of lowering my expectations or desires for a partner, I needed to have better boundaries around my own behavior. 

Most importantly, I needed to show restraint and sobriety around who I gave my time to. 

(as a side note, taking a year without alcohol was also very instrumental to my growth) 

This all leads us back to Dating Mistake #4: You’re responding incorrectly to red (and green) flags. 

We’ve talked about creating your list of “no-go’s” and red flags. 

But now it’s time to start listening to it.  

When a man shows you that he possesses these undesirable qualities or behaviors, you walk away!! 

No questions asked.  

On the flip side, when a date shows you that they do possess the qualities you’re seeking, you give the process some time, and don't walk away just because you don't feel an immediate addictive spark. 

It really is that simple.  

If you can have this kind of sobriety and restraint in your dating behaviors, you’ll stop wasting your time on people who can never offer you what you want. 

You’ll also increase your sense of self-worth by holding higher standards for yourself, and by following through on healthy commitments to yourself. 

Today I invite you to start using your lists to soberly assess your dating prospects, and hold really healthy boundaries for yourself. 

You deserve the most amazing love with the most spectacular person. So stop settling and keep your standards high where they belong!