Are you tired yet?

I’ve got a serious question for you, dear exquisite woman:

Are you tired yet? 

Are you tired of the narrative that you need to be less of this or more of that in order to get what you want? 

Are you tired of subscribing to the profoundly ludicrous notion that you’re only permitted to have security, love, and care once you reach a certain weight, career accomplishment, or level of healing?

Please join me in saying - fuck that! 

Those stories aren’t even true and they’re literally being used to keep you stuck! 

You see, if you believe you need to fix things about yourself before you can have what you want, you’ll fall right into these two traps:

1. You’ll waste all your energy trying to fix yourself instead of going fully in on the things you want. Side note: the fixing will never end because the bar will always be moved.

2. You’ll bring low self-worth energy to every interaction, which means you’ll get responses commensurate with that low self-worth. Let me ask you this, do you give your money, trust, time, or business to people who present with low self-worth? Of course not! So why would others trust you with the keys to the palace if you don’t exude your own worthiness?

The worst part is that this distraction is working, isn’t it?!

It’s worked on me for years, most definitely.

But I think we’re all here in this container because we’re finally breaking out of that shell…collectively. 

So, let’s look at this logically: 

We’re essentially victims of systemic narcissistic abuse (hang with me here, it’ll make sense):

• We’re told how lovely and desired we are - how important we are to the fabric of society.

• But we’re also told constantly that we’re not pretty enough, thin enough, accomplished enough, hairless enough (yeah, I said it…sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?), demure enough, likable enough, friendly enough, etc., etc., etc.

• Aaannnnddd we’re punished and abandoned for being too aggressive, too demanding, too difficult, too entitled, too confident, too harsh, too sexual, too loud (you get the picture).

• And just like any narcissistic relationship, our sense of worth and safety are slowly eroded away. “You’re amazing, dear! But if you could just be better in these certain ways, I could really give you the moon." (subtext: You have to earn my love and loyalty by being better)

• Remember, narcissists are deeply insecure. They need to devalue others in order to maintain their one-up status. They believe security comes from power over, not power with. If they allow themselves to be seen as equals or demonstrate meaningful imperfection, they fear that their own right to safety will be demolished.

This is the mess that society has created for women as a whole.

Can you name a single man in your life who’s had to jump through these kinds of hoops before he can even be listened to in the first place?! 

Of course you can’t! 

And that’s because this system was designed to serve the weak, insecure men who built it (not quality men, mind you).  

They’ve built a house of cards on false power. 

And that house is balancing precariously on our ongoing submission to the status quo. 

Do you see the finance bros asking for permission from anyone to amass wealth? Are they making sure their waistlines are small enough before they give themselves permission to be successful or even just happy? 

Hell no!!!

And why’s that?  

Because they know something you were trained, conditioned, and coerced to forget… 

You’re allowed to be happy 

(have security, be loved, experience joy, have fun, be accepted, dance freely) 

exactly as you are!!!

You don’t need to be perfect. 

You don’t need to be better, thinner, smarter, wittier, prettier, nicer, gentler, or a better mom first. 

You don’t need someone else’s validation or permission. 

What you actually need is to reconnect with the inherent knowledge that you’re good enough already.

You need to stop trying to make yourself better to justify your right to goodness. 

You need to stop waiting for permission, and start stating what you want and what you expect. 

We’ve been so deeply conditioned to critique ourselves that we don’t even realize we’re doing it anymore. 

I don’t know about you, but I’m done with this nonsense. 

I’m done playing a game we were always meant to lose. 

I’m reclaiming my inherent worth, power, and deservingness. 

My sovereignty is within me and I don’t need anyone’s permission to access it. 

I hope you’ll join me because I already know that you’re also spectacular, and deserving, and powerful beyond measure.

And I want to see you shine in ALL of your brilliance!!!

So, let’s stop trying to fix ourselves. 

Let’s stop asking for permission.

Let’s even stop asking for validation. 

Let’s decide what we want and really go for it!!! 

What do we have to lose? The affection of people who want to keep us under their thumbs? 

No thanks…

I can do better, and so can you!