Building a strong foundation

If there’s one piece of advice I wish I’d really listened to when I was younger it would be slow and steady wins the race.

There’s a reason this lesson shows up in so many parables: the tortoise and the hare, the three little pigs, and the moral of squirrels saving nuts for winter. 

Simply put, it’s a good way to live your life.

Here’s why: doing things slowly and methodically requires us to do things right. 

It’s all about building a strong foundation, which is necessary if you want to grow anything on top of it.

There are no quick fixes in life. And when we try to skip steps, we miss valuable lessons and fail to place the bricks that will support us when we reach bigger heights.

Trust me, I’ve learned this lesson the hard way many times in my life.

And it applies to every aspect of life - education, career, friendships, and especially relationships.

I wanted to share this today because I think it’s extra important to remember when we’re seeking a healthy relationship, especially in the early dating stages.

We might be expecting an immediate spark when it really isn’t necessary (and might not even be a good sign). 

Translation? Give that slightly boring guy another date before you ax him (assuming there aren’t any real deal-breakers). 

You don’t want someone who wows you, you want someone who shows you how great they are over time.

Healthy internal qualities aren’t flashy and they can only be witnessed when a person is given the time and space to show you how they react and treat you long term. 

This requires a slow and steady approach. 

Also remember this on your own personal healing journey. Take the time to be alone, heal your core wounds, and slowly practice dating again. 

Jumping in quickly with someone new will usually lead you right back to the starting line in the end because you’re more likely to pick someone based on your trauma again instead of healthy alignment.

You’ll get to the real relationship much faster if you lay the right foundation for yourself.

And a good foundation takes time, intention, and personal accountability. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

I like to tell my clients that the opposite is usually the medicine. 

So, if you’re in a hurry, slow down and you'll get there faster (wink)!