The importance of dreaming big

Have you stopped dreaming?

I’m not talking about your sleep, btw.

I’m talking about the bigger vision of what you want in life.

When we move into adulthood, taking on countless responsibilities, it can feel necessary to get more realistic about what’s possible, and focus on what needs to be done for survival and the well-being of our families.

But who says that has to exclude our dreams?

Maybe you don’t have the energy you once had to imagine other possibilities.

Maybe you’ve lost sight of your own desires and identity after years of putting others ahead of yourself.

Or maybe it’s simply become too painful to hold onto something that just doesn’t seem realistic.

I hear this a lot from my clients: I had to wake up and realize that what I want only happens in the movies, not in real life - and definitely not in mine!

This breaks my heart.

How can we truly find joy and meaning in our lives if we’ve given up on what we really want? If we’ve abandoned hope?

I think this explains why so many people are feeling empty and aimless - despite working a million miles a minute every day.

What are we really working for if not our dreams?!!! That’s why we’re here! To actualize our potential, our desires, and our relationships!

So, let’s take some time to reignite our internal fires. Let’s reawaken the spark that drives us! The spark that lights us up and makes us truly magnetic!

Who told you that you can’t have what you want?

Who told you to be practical?

And most importantly, who gave that person the authority to advise you on matters of the heart? Is that person living their best life? (I’d bet money they're not)

So, let’s start with being more discerning about the people we take advice from.

You wouldn’t take financial advice from a person in financial crisis, would you?

Then why are you taking relationship and life advice from people who continue to live small and defensively?

Now, I’ll totally agree with the idea that we need to drop the Disney narrative around love. 

But not because deep and meaningful love isn’t possible; rather because Disney love isn’t about loving each other, it’s about rescuing and using each other.

Real love happens when two people are whole and complete on their own, and they want to be near the other person because they admire and enjoy their company so much - not because they need what the other person has to offer to validate or secure themselves (think the prince with the money, or the damsel with the beauty).

It’s galling to watch how so many of the early Disney movies show people “falling in love” without really knowing each other at all. In my book, they’re just falling for their own desperate desire of what they think they can get out of the other person.

So, if real love is about being whole and complete on my own, what does that mean about my dreams of finding a beautiful partner?

It means that your only job right now is to heal yourself and make your life deeply fulfilling:

• Address your limiting beliefs around your self-worth, relationships, money, etc.

• Fill in the gaps where You’ve previously turned to a partner to make you feel secure. For many women this looks like letting go of relying on a man for financial security. But it can also look like stopping patterns of seeking validation through your beauty or sexuality.

• Get picky about who you take advice from (only people who have achieved what you want).

• Follow your heart, and take the actions that light you up. They will lead you to the next opportunity that’s right for you.

In the meantime, start dreaming again! 

Make a list of what you want to experience before you die, and be sure to include the kind of love you want to feel.

It’s all possible, my friend. I promise you.

And I know that you can sense the truth of it in your heart.

You were meant for deep, powerful, life-altering love. And if you’re brave enough to go for it, you will have it all!