Fix your picker

The hardest realization I’ve ever had to make in my life was this: 

“I’m the common denominator in all of my failed relationships.”

Ugh.

So fucking painful. But also, so on point.

Does this mean I was to blame for everything that went wrong?

Hell no!!!

I certainly wasn’t to blame for their unkind or abusive treatment.

I also wasn’t to blame for the reasons I was attracted to someone who would treat me badly (core wounding).

But it turns out I was most definitely responsible for perpetuating a cycle that I knew was harming me.

More importantly, I was responsible for breaking that cycle.

See, I was the one allowing myself to be treated poorly.

I was the one overlooking red flags.

I was the one picking fixer-uppers.

No one was making me do any of that.

Now, if you would’ve asked my younger self why I did all of those things, I would have told you that I didn’t think I could find anything better.

I truly believed that this was all I could expect from men.

But that speaks to my core wounding and low self-worth at the time.

What I really needed to do was heal myself: my beliefs, my self-worth, my boundaries, etc.

But I didn’t know how to do any of that.

And my experiences only perpetuated my core beliefs that men were selfish and I would have to settle for something mediocre if I wanted companionship.

Yuck! 

I feel deep pain for my younger self when I think about the hopelessness that this caused me.

But then I stumbled upon various forms of subconscious healing such as EMDR and parts work (think IFS). 

And that’s when everything really started to shift for me. 

Every new dating experience revealed a core belief that I was clutching onto for dear life.

I would take it through the healing work, and gradually that issue would stop presenting in my dating life. 

Each time I graduated from an issue, the men I encountered got better and better.

Until I passed my final test by saying no to an ex who had previously held a lot of power over me. 

I literally connected with my forever person just hours after saying no to that ex.

Does that mean my journey is over? Of course not. I’m still growing within the relationship, but this growth is safe and healing and truly nurturing. 

I share all of this with you to help you regain a sense of agency over your own love life.

You alone have the power to find what you’re looking for, because you alone can stop the self-sabotage that is coming from your unhealed trauma.

It’s time to fix your picker.

If you’re ready to break free of your limiting beliefs, be sure to book a free discovery call. 

I can help you break free of this madness once and for all.

Better yet, I can help you find your path to profound love and healing.

I know it feels like there are no good men out there, but it’s not actually true (unless you believe it’s true).

What if you believed that there are lots of good men out there who are dying to meet an amazing woman like you?

How would you walk into the world if you really accepted the truth of that?

You can have true love, Beautiful. Start your journey today!